I love Pixar movies. Pixar has never made a movie that has even come close to disappointing me. They’re consistently funny, dramatic, beautiful, and even a little geeky if you know some behind-the-scenes stuff.
Given my penchant for their movies, I was excited to see UP. I planned it so my daughter and I could go see it in 3D on opening night at the best theater in our area. We showed up an hour early just to make sure we could get tickets and get a good seat dead smack in the center of the screen. It wasn’t nearly as crowded as I’d expected, so we had no trouble at all… perfect seats.
Except for one thing.
Two rows behind me, sitting slightly to the left, was a woman who evidently lives in her own self-centered, egotistical bubble of inconsideration and, in an almost conversational volume, kept up an inane, non-stop commentary of the movie’s events to her child, stopping only to indignantly shush him when he made any comments or noises of his own.
“Awww…”
“Oh, look at that!”
“Wow!”
“Oh, they parked right where he wanted.”
“Look at all the balloons!”
“Uh-oh. The balloons are popping.”
“The bird wants her babies.”
“Awww… ” (again)
“Ha! Ha! Ha! That’s so clever!”
“Oh, the poor dog.”
“He’s sad.”
“Awww…” (oh yes… over, and over, and over…)
I’m very non-confrontational, so for a long time, I sat there and tried to ignore her. At one point, I got frustrated enough that I turned around and looked at her, displaying the universally accepted “shut the hell up” expression. Sadly, we all had the 3D glasses on, so the laser-focused, burning heat of my baleful glare didn’t have its fully intended effect.
A short while later, I took a page from her own playbook and turned around and shushed her. Sadly, the shush had a lasting effect of about 60 seconds. In retrospect, there’s a good chance she thought I was shushing her son. I think she was completely unaware of the extreme obnoxiousness of her behavior.
I really should have turned around and said something like, “Lady, would you please knock off the running commentary so the rest of us can enjoy the movie.” I probably would have gotten applause from the people sitting around me.
As it was, it took a lot away from the movie for both me and my daughter. I still loved the movie, though, which is a testament to Pixar’s genius, and I love going to real movie theaters. I really think, however, that it’s not the high prices of movie tickets, popcorn and drinks that will lead to the demise of theaters. It’s inconsiderate, rude, obnoxious, graceless, ignorant people (like the clueless harpy I encountered) that will bring them down.
Next time, I’ll speak up.